Do you feel like you are trying to do all the right things in life and not getting results? When you are giving endlessly, it causes you loneliness and exhaustion. It could be that you have a spiritual ache or deep emotional pain, that makes you feel like your life is out of your control. Maybe you even feel like other people are causing these problems for you. Any Confusion about the responsibility in your life is a problem of boundaries.
People pleasing doesn’t bring joy to anyone for long. You do not have to deal with someone else’s feelings or their problems. That is their responsibility. Try to think about what is and is not YOUR job. Most of us get burnt out so easily sometimes. I can look back and see exactly what caused me to become emotionally exhausted and usually it’s because I took on too much. We are obligated to other’s, but for ourselves. Each of us has our own load that only we can carry.
When we desire to do the right thing we are not thinking of the big picture. If you want to say no to someone, but are afraid of endangering that relationship, consider it again. If you “say yes” by passively complying you are compromising yourself in the long run.
The pressure you experience comes from your sense of obligation. Remember the truth is always the safest option. Being honest about who you are gives you integrity and helps you to become whole.
Do you think others will accept your ‘no’? Having Boundaries will test the quality of your relationships. When we do something for our self and people do not respect our choice, they are showing us that our ‘no’ is not good enough for them. They only love our ‘YES’. Even if that ‘yes’ is just our compliance. That is the same as us lying. We have to decide what is the most important thing. Your fear of their acceptance, or that guilty conscience.
Sometimes I decide I can’t deal with my emotions and I try to ignore what I am feeling. The bible tells us to own your feelings and be aware of them. They unquestionably push you to do what is good for you. Your personal thoughts and feelings belong to you. You are the one they influence. Think about the issues that are stressing you. It seems like some days things can be overwhelming. That is when I know I can’t deal with things on my own.
Talking to God and praying helps me to see clearly. Even so, I still need more. Having a group of supportive people around allows for me to be human. That strong system is a network that can all work together, growing individually, and enriching our spiritual lives.
This information is a combination of my thoughts and ideas taken from the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Their content helps you to redesign how you deal with problems in your life. It has helped me take a look at close relationships and learn new ways to navigate through my life, allowing God to be the center focus and lead me the right way, always.
Get the Book below and see what type of boundaries you need. To find the answers to setting them.
Best of luck ahead! Thanks for stopping by!